This is nuts. I called probably 25 shrinks yesterday that are on my health insurance plan and they're either not taking patients OR their soonest available appointment is out in April. I called a few more to find that they were wrong numbers.

So I'll just sit here and continue to rock back and forth and yank out my hair by the handfulls until I can figure out my next move.

However, I did figure out one of the shrinks that isn't taking new patients is the shrink who lives on my mom's street from whom my mom bought a huge elephant picture from which is now in my living room.

He must not be all that great if he got rid of an elephant picture. For $40.

I have a small cold which means I can't go and see la babette. She's getting chubby already. Not surprising since she's constantly breast feeding. Which reminds me that the next door neighbor's friend is over with her 4 kids and the 2 1/2 year old is still breast feeding. I mean, that's ok, but it still wigs me out a little because she breast feeds constantly too. And she's not small or anything. I was over there the other day and she's still whipping her mom's tits out to have a little snack. While she's playing with the other one. I think it wigs me out so much because it was such a painful process for me and also the thought of a kid with teeth hanging off my tits is not a happy thought.

I'm pretty excited because from a Swappingtons person I am getting the Romeo & Juliet DVD. The one with Claire Danes and Leonardo Diwhatever. Remember that scene where he takes off her shirt? My friend Karen and I were like "Shit howdy, I wish my back looked like that!" It just doesn't.

Today, Karen and I saw something like "A personal story". It's where people get certain things done, like breast implants or a tummy tuck. A woman got a tummy tuck and back liposuction. Talk about OW. That looks so painful. They took 6 lbs of fat out of her back, or rather sucked it out. They took the "apron" of fat off her front and that was another 8 lbs. The fat suctioning was pretty sick and disgusting. It was yellow, and not even a pretty shade of yellow.

And was her husband ever a yokel. Huge beer gut and looked like he had missing teeth. And that's ok. But fuck me, I just couldn't do someone like that, no matter how nice he was.

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Tanya McBee Gunby | Create Your Badge