I will learn to spell *exercise* in my adult lifetime.

I knew I was spelling it wrong, but I was spelling it so wrong that spellcheck wasnt even correcting it correctly for me. That's kinda embarrassing. I always make fun of people who spell stuff wrong. I could've gone back through all my archives and re-spelled all the mispelled words and act like it never happened. But no. I admit my loserness.

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I'm depressed. I'm in one of those ruts where I feel like just another person sucking air on the planet and not contributing anything. Life is repeat after repeat. I'm not sure how I get into these, but unsure how to get out.

I understand that I should be happy with life how it is. I have 3 healthy kids, a great spouse, etc. etc. etc. I understand that. I just get unhappy with me. I should be something other than who I am. I can't figure out what I want to do with life. Tons of people seem to have a handle on what they want in life and are doing it. I'm just not doing that. I keep thinking if I write more, I'll get it figured out somehow. I try to think of what I like in life and what gets to me and I can't think of a thing. I feel useless. The house is either a mess or decent looking. It never stays nice two days in a row. I don't have the energy to keep it nice two days in a row. Somehow that's bad. Instantly when company comes in, you're judged. I'm frustrated. I'm sick of being sick and tired. I hate it. I feel lazy.

I don't know how to get out of it. I'm not always this way, but I feel I should be doing more.

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Tanya McBee Gunby | Create Your Badge