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Yikes

November 23, 2002, 2:01 PM

Second entry.

Oh somebody stop me.

If you want to read about my breasts, go back an entry. If you'd rather not have that mental image in your mind...I don't blame you.

I went over to my mom's last night. Oh what fun. I had to drop off her creative memories shit. They weren't there so I called on their cell phones. Dad answered his and he passed me over to mom. I knew by the sound of her voice that if I hung around until they got home, I'd regret it somehow.

Of course, I've always loved being criticized and I stuck around.

Me: Hi mom

Mom: Hiiiiii Boooobooooo! Well Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! Aren't you the sweetest baby!

Mom: (sits down, looks at me)You didn't say anything about my outfit...

Me: It's green, are you ill? You hate green.

Mom: You don't like it.

Me: I honestly hadn't really looked at it. It's green, are you ill?

Mom: You don't like it.

Me: (telling my mom and dad about the sick kitties at PAWS)

Dad: I don't think I'd do well working there. I'd end up seeing all these animals I'd want to take home with me.

Mom: By being around these animals, can't you bring disease home with you to your family?!

Me: No mom. (start to justify) Plus I wash my clothes when I get home. I strip down in the shop and put them in the wash.

Mom: (Condesending tone) What do you mean by the "shop"?

Me: (she knows exactly what I mean by the shop) You know, Lee's work area.

Mom: (exaggerated OH!, like I had no idea what the "shop" meant.)

Dad: Hey mom, look at I'm watching on TV (women in bikini's, just to get her riled up)

Mom: (Totally goes off) OH those Victoria's Secret Models. It's just soft porn is what it is!!!!

Me: Pppfffffff

Dad: (smiling, happy to get her riled up)

Mom: WELL IT IS! (mom goes off about scantily clad women, jealousy dripping off her every word)

Me: *sigh*

_____________________________________________________

She's frustrating to no end. I recognize my mom does a lot for me, but that doesn't mean I'm going to be her version of the perfect daughter because of it.


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