I totally screwed up my profile somehow and was up until 1:30 last night re-adding a bunch of people. I think at last I got it right.

I made a comment in a diary about a situation I've been reading about and got a negative response from his either wife or girlfriend. She is right, I do not know a 10th of whatever goes on. I still 100% stand by what I say. If a parent didn't like my spouse, partner, boyfriend and went out of their way to berate, negate or talk badly about them, I would stand behind my significant other and not leave them alone for a Holiday dinner. I didn't do it to my asshole ex husband when he was a soon to be ex. It truly does make me sick to think of leaving anyone behind for whatever reason, even if they didn't want to go. Sure, it's no fun sitting around on a Holiday at an Extended Stay America, but obviously there's a commitment level lacking. Maturity in a relationship is standing beside each other no matter how fucked up it gets.

Did I just say that? Did that sound like something Kathy Lee Gifford would say? Minus the "fucked up" part. Did she say that?

I did go to that fucking tea party and I felt just about as low as I could. The wife stays home. The 10 years younger husband is a mason. How they afford a house where they do is beyond me. Jealous? Me? Yes. I am fighting hard to get past the materialistic me, and it is always a fight. I do ok, until I go to someone's house, this time a split level remodel with a huge kitchen and brand new windows and carpet. I guess that's a given since it's a remodel. 2 young kids and she does all this decorating and painting pottery. And I feel bad about myself for a while. Yes I'm having my period. More info than anyone needed to know, but sometimes I feel like I should be more, do more. But I remind myself I don't want to live up to someone else's standards. I don't want a time-share or a brand new car. I don't want a bunch of stuff. But sometimes it is hard. My sister in law made me feel better by pulling me aside and agreeing it was a fight, because a person feels inadequate at times.

Someone wondered how I did the vegan thing and also wondered what I ate. I eat a lot of Indian food. A lot of cauliflower and vegetables. Yes you can also eat a lot of crap too. There is chocolate made without any animal product whatsoever. During the holiday's I am vegetarian, not vegan. I still have not had any meat of any kind, but I'm a sucker for butter. That tends to be in a lot of holiday baking. Oh and eggs to. So I don't hold myself to a standard that I can't live up to. I strive to be vegan at all times, but I know the holiday's will get to me. It's hard because we're so centered around food during the holidays. And someone else asked me to check out their diary and I can't because there's no link. I want to check it out. There's so many great diaries on here. I LOVE DIARYLAND. Thank you ANDREW!

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Tanya McBee Gunby | Create Your Badge