I work at the hospital. A person can have $60 deducted from their paycheck and fight traffic to park at the hospital and walk a ways to get to work

OR

Have $9 deducted from their paycheck, not fight traffic, walk a little ways to get to work.

Of course I take Metro. Lee bought me an Ipod shuffler and I listen to it.

I am one of

We bus-people drive to the Park & Ride at the last minute. Half of us get the stop on time and wait 30 minutes for the bus. The other half of us are running with our bags in one hand and cups in the other, ejaculating coffee from the St@rbucks lid and all over ourselves.

Those who have waited for a half an hour all crowd around when the bus stops to be able to be the first one on.

Then the runners. We all see them.

People are yelling

"Ya got a runner!"

Sometimes the driver stops and sometimes the driver pretends not to hear and he takes off. The bus drivers drive like any taxi cab. Imagine an articulating bus hurtling down the road and zipping in and out of traffic. These buses are big and unforgiving.

Articulating bus=two buses glued together by an accordian-like piece of something. In the accordian like structure, there are seats there. If you have to sit there, you spend the whole time moving left to right, right to left as the seats are on a circular piece of flooring so that the two-bus-thing can turn corners. You spend the whole time praying that at an intersection a car doesn't hit the accordian-thing. The accordian piece is like a fiberglass or fabric. There is NO protection. If you choose to sit in the accordian, you risk your life.

When you're sitting on the bus, it's rude to sit in a seat and put your bag on the seat next to you. To prevent someone sitting next to you. It's a bus. It gets packed. Sometimes standing room only. Move your fucking bag people.

The smokers seem to sit in the front. As a former smoker, I'm not dissin' my peeps, but now it does make me sick to smell stale wet smoke. I don't sit in front. The homeless sometimes ride the bus and they always sit in front. I'm not dissin' the Architecturally Challenged either, they just don't have a chance to bathe and I seem to have an acute sense of smell.

When you sit next to someone in a seat, you must not touch. So you sit there clenched as tight as you can be so not to touch. If it's a member of the human race you happen to like the looks of, not so big a deal. If it's a tall chinese man with big arms, all the better. That's just my opinion. I'm thinkin of this dude who reminds me of Chow Yun-Fat.

Keep sitting next to me baby.

Where was I?

Oh yeah, at times you get someone who thinks your their dead mother or dead ex-girlfriend and the origin of death is uncertain. I always keep clenched and a look out of the corner of my eye to make sure a weapon isn't being produced from the trench coat.

I choose to sit in the accordian if I'm going to talk on the cell. You're sitting low and right behind seats up higher. Allows more privacy. There are the few that talk loudly so everyone can hear.

People read on the bus. If I did that, I'd yak. A lot of us have IPODS. Those not up to date have their CD players.

There's a rope to pull to let the bus driver know there's someone who wants to get off at the next stop.

It gets pulled and as soon as that happens, even though the stop is 4 city blocks away, people stand up in the bus hurtling through time. The bus never makes a slow stop. I'm always waiting for the bus to stop, someone to fall backwards and slide up the aisle on their back, watching all the people watch them slide up to the front. It has yet to happen because The Bus People, no matter the age, have extremely good balance or we just know how to hold on really well.

I think, geez people, you can wait until the bus stops to stand up. But now I stand up just like everyone else and hold on.

Getting off the bus in heels is dumb. The steps don't seem to be regulation. They're like 2 feet high each and when you step off, you feel like you're an elephant trying to be dainty.

Doesn't work.

last - next

3 comments so far
Tanya McBee Gunby | Create Your Badge