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May 27, 2006, 7:48 PM

mom-in-law is very close to dying. Within a day, 2 days, a week. She has an agenda that she hasn't finished, so I'm giving it a week.

I know she doesn't want to die. She has AML and it was really agressive.

I know my older girls and I know that they're like me. They could care less what she looks like, if she's slobbering all over, if she was dying, they'd like to see her. That's not in the cards and I explained it to them.

I think Nana is at the point where she's letting go and she's exhausted and just doesn't want the girls to see her like she is now. Her tone is grey, she's easily tired. That kind of thing.

The girls were very understanding and will call her tomorrow. What Gia didn't get was, if her heart stops, can't they just "paddle" her. The only way I could explain it is that the leukemia is ruining her organs. Her body is sending out signals that everything is shutting down. It's a natural response. The body sends the signals that the organs must stop working and that's that.

I know how it is because I'm still in denial. I have this view on death that's very Dalai Lama, then this comes on and I'm like "couldn't they have done more chemo?" or "couldn't they have put the bone marrow in anyway?" or "maybe if I pray hard enough, she'll be ok."

Boo says things like "Nana's going to die and turn into and angel."

Boo-of-the-most-serious-of-Dalai-Lama-Boo's says Nana will go into a deep sleep and then she won't wake up.

She asks if Lee will get another mommy. Lee said no. Boo said sometimes little kids get new mommies and daddies.

Anyway. I work in the hospital that she was staying in on and off for a few weeks. Visited a lot.

Just got a call from Gia saying her G string broke.

Wha?????

Viola.


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Tanya McBee Gunby | Create Your Badge