I've been sick lately and am actually feeling like I can actually sit up to the computer and write something. I have been way behind in my reading. Last night I got as far as Enn5393 and couldn't sit at the computer one more second. I got up to the couch and slept there for three hours before actually making it to the bed. Woke up this morning and am now just getting with it (it's 11 am).

I did find a shrink! For fucks sake. It took a while. They're actually close. I will be seeing 1 of 2 women in the clinic who are specialists in the field of women's issues like PMS disorders, etc. I like the thought of that. This isn't offense to any men, but I find that men physicians do not take women's issues seriously. The term Somataform disorder was used once by a doctor and my mom in law (who's a nurse) said she didn't buy it. She said that the term was probably coined by a man and was his way of telling a woman it was all in her head. I know what's going on with me is way more complex than stress coming out in physical symptoms. I don't totally discredit that thought, but damn it all, I sure as hell know when I'm feeling stress. I know stress totally triggers my pain. I'll be interested to see what this shrink woman has to say. I already filled out the new patient's paperwork and mailed that along with my neuropsych eval that Virginia Mason did last year. That way they have it and possibly the shrink will look it over before my appointment on the 24th. They wanted a $100 deposit though. I called my mom and she gave me her credit card number so I could get in ASAP. The $100 is to prevent no shows, which I know happens a lot in the field of Mental Health. Because I am famous for no shows. Ok, not that bad, but I know why people are no shows for their counseling appointments.

I was leary on sending it. Virginia Mason is pretty close to an HMO, although it isn't. All VM doctors share med records. The records can be called up on a computer, so if one doctor has a thought about what the problem is, I feel another doctor reads that with bias. I feel that they think they already know what's going on and don't go in with an open mind. That's just my thought. 30 years ago, depression wasn't taken seriously, and now that's the catch-all. That's my theory anyway. The trick is for me to go into this with an open mind. Like I said, I don't discredit that notion but at the same time, I just don't buy it.

So yeah. I'm watching LOTR's. Those stupid hobbits have just cooked up dinner and Frodo is saying "PUT IT OUT YOU FOOLS!" No shit. I'd be pissed as hell if I got stabbed by a Mordor blade and nearly turned into Wraith because they were fucking idiots.

Ha. Reality is still with me. I think

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Tanya McBee Gunby | Create Your Badge