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Acetone

July 21, 2003, 11:32 PM

I went to pick up a pain pill from my mom because I broke a toe. The smallest on my left foot. I irritate myself big time when I do stoopid things. It's the annual breakage of the toe. Although this past year it's the Twice Yearly Breakage Of A Toe.

Anyways, it's a nice rainbow of colors and almost pretty, albeit unnatural looking.

So I mention to my mom, "Hey Mom, I went to Rachel's ultrasound today!" and she said:

"WHY?" with as much inredulousness as any one hypocrytical, judgemental suburbanite mother could muster.

Me: "Uh, because, I wanted to go."

Hypocrytical, judgemental, suburbanite mother: "Are you getting mixed up with her again?"

Me: "Well, I've been "mixed up" with Rachie for quite a while now and why do you ask me questions that way?"

Hypocrytical, judgemental, suburbanite mother: "I just hate to see you get mixed up with her again, she's bad news."

Me: "Bad news is a devil worshipper who sacrafices live cattle or a drug addict and Rachel is neither. She's a good person."

Hypocrytical, judgemental, suburbanite mother: "Well, I just think..."

Me: "Let's not talk about this anymore."

And then it was done. I don't take after Hypocrytical, judgemental, suburbanite mother in this way. I take after dad. I tell him about Rachel and how she's doing. When she was going to her required DUI classes back when she got her DUI and I was taking care of Dakota the 3 nights a week the classes were held, Dakota was at their house...well, because I lived there too. During the divorce. Dakota would run and give the Papa hugs and call him Papa too. Dad cuts people slack and is not so judgemental because after all, we're people.

And Rachel will be just fine. I appreciate your note Christopher.

And yeah, Terri, that George W. Bush thing irritated me too! But I had to tell everyone anyway.

So don't break your toes by running into your children's slide. I did this and PortableBoo was quite concerned.

And don't hack away at Rhodies when it's dusk. The mosquitoes will drink a lot of your blood.

*****************************

I have learned one very valuable lesson in life that I will share with you. When you're driving merrily along and there's a car in the other lane heading towards you wildly flashing their lights, it means that there's a cop car waiting for you just around the corner.

No, I didn't get a ticket. It's just something I've learned over the years driving many miles and having numerous cars blinking wildly to warn all the other cars of an oncoming speed trap.

Ane one more thing. Full acetone nail polish remover helps reduce the itch in mosquito bites.


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