Hey thanks all for the comments about the previous letter. I get so fired up sometimes and it's good to get opinions. I may do that with any letter I send out...I don't send out many. So I'll spare ya all.

Killandra wrote in her entry about a missing woman, Ardeth Wood, who went for a bike ride and never came back. She was found murdered quite a number of days after she was reported missing. Killandra said she wasn't friends with her but did remember her from highschool. It hits so hard when someone you're friends with or someone your age gets hurt, nearly killed or is killed. A very strong reminder of mortality.

What keeps coming back to my mind is that we as women are raised to be polite. There have been so many times that someone has done something that I have been uncomfortable with or sends up red flags and I just smiled or whatever. I have learned to always listen to that little voice in the back of my head. I remember in silence of the lambs where the guy captured the woman by pretending he was hurt and needed help. At age 32, I still don't talk to strangers. I don't answer the door if it's someone I don't know. I tell my older girls NO adult needs their help. Ever. If a man or woman or teenager asks for you to go somewhere with them alone, or asks for your help, run like hell. Screaming as loud as you can.

It's fucked up. Men don't have the same worries. They can bike alone. At night. In the morning. They don't have to tell anyone where they are going. Not that that matters. You can tell someone where you are going to be and I guess that means they'll find your body faster.

Anyway, where was I? Oh women being polite. Submissive. Not wanting to hurt feelings. Or be rude. Or people in general not reporting strange behavior. Or women reporting strange behavior and not taken seriously. Apparently in the area Ardeth Wodd was killed, many women came forward saying they had been approached by a man in the area.

Nowadays there's so much going on I think people forget to take a look around them. What's normal here? What's not?

And still you never know. You could be caught off gaurd. You could be as wary as a rabbit and still get caught off gaurd. Can you ever be too careful? I get in the car at night an immediately lock my doors. I park under street lights. I keep my head up and look around. I move fast. I don't run, but I have my keys ready to unlock the car. And if I'm not going to be long, I don't lock all the doors. I keep only the drivers side unlocked. As I'm coming into the car, I can see the backseat and get in, having my hand on the locking mechanism and lock as I shut the door.

I must be wierd, I think about this shit all the time. I think I always have. Men prey on women's vulnerability and I like to make sure I'm not such an easy target. And still I probably don't do enough.

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Tanya McBee Gunby | Create Your Badge