I got this new lipstick that's made by Revlon and it won't kiss off. And it has gloss that you put on after you put the color on. So it's extra shiny. I put it on and told spousal to look at me.

He said "Hey, you look like everyone on Fox News!"

That wasn't my ambition.

Fox News. Do you notice how they dress? Super super trendy. Not conservative like CNN or MSNBC. Ok, Neil Cavuto, Bill O'Reilly and my personal favorite, Brit Hume, dress conservatively. Brit Hume is extremely likable, by the way. I have a hard time watching Shepard Smith because he is so hot. Shepard Smith is the man.

So anyway, my lips and I walk into my mom's house to pick up my brain pills because I forgot them yesterday, and I said "Hey Mom, who do I look like?" And mom says:

We all know I look nothing like Laurie Dhue, but she is gorgeous and I want to be her. And her lips. She always has really shiny lips and I'll bet every man in America is wondering what her lips would look like around-

Anyway. I know it sounds like I want to do her, but I don't. I just want to be like her. And I never want to be like anyone. Except her. She has a deep sultry voice. She's a smart interviewer. She says "What say you..." with authority.

If I can't be her, I can still have really shiny lips.

last - next

0 comments so far
Tanya McBee Gunby | Create Your Badge