I was sorta hoping I was getting on the path to feeling normal again.

Just like last year, it hits the time where weather is getting colder at nights and my body gets more and more achy and I revert more and more to the symptoms of chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia.

Let's revew the symtoms, shall we? You don't have to read on. I need this for me.

Pain - The pain of fibromyalgia has no boundaries. People describe the pain as deep muscular aching, burning, throbbing, shooting and stabbing. Quite often, the pain and stiffness are worse in the morning and you may hurt more in muscle groups that are used repetitively.

Fatigue - This symptom can be mild in some patients and yet incapacitating in others. The fatigue has been described as "brain fatigue" in which patients feel totally drained of energy. Many patients depict this situation by saying that they feel as though their arms and legs are tied to concrete blocks, and they have difficulty concentrating.

Sleep disorder - Most fibromyalgia patients have an associated sleep disorder called the alpha-EEG anomaly. This condition was uncovered in a sleep lab with the aid of a machine which recorded the brain waves of patients during sleep. Researchers found that fibromyalgia syndrome patients could fall asleep without much trouble, but their deep level (or stage 4) sleep was constantly interrupted by bursts of awake-like brain activity. Patients appeared to spend the night with one foot in sleep and the other one out of it. In most cases, a physician doesn't have to order expensive sleep lab tests to determine if you have disturbed sleep. If you wake up feeling as though you have just been run over by a Mack truck--what doctors refer to as unrefreshed sleep--it is reasonable for your physician to assume that you have a sleep disorder. It should be noted that most patients diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome have the same alpha-EEG sleep pattern and some fibromyalgia-diagnosed patients have been found to have other sleep disorders, such as sleep myoclonus or PLMS (nighttime jerking of the arms and legs), restless leg syndrome and bruxism (teeth grinding). The sleep pattern for clinically depressed patients is distinctly different from that found in FMS or CFS.

Irritable Bowel Syndrome - Constipation, diarrhea, frequent abdominal pain, abdominal gas and nausea represent symptoms frequently found in roughly 40% to 70% of fibromyalgia patients.

Chronic headaches - Recurrent migraine or tension-type headaches are seen in about 50% of fibromyalgia patients and can pose as a major problem in coping for this patient group.

Temporomandibular Joint Dysfunction Syndrome - This syndrome, sometimes referred to as TMJD, causes tremendous face and head pain in one quarter of FMS patients.

Multiple Chemical Sensitivity Syndrome - Sensitivities to odors, noise, bright lights, medications and various foods is common in roughly 50% of FMS or CFS patients.

Other common symptoms - Painful menstrual periods (dysmenorrhea), chest pain, morning stiffness, cognitive or memory impairment, numbness and tingling sensations, muscle twitching, irritable bladder, the feeling of swollen extremities, skin sensitivities, dry eyes and mouth, frequent changes in eye prescription, dizziness, and impaired coordination can occur.

Aggravating factors - Changes in weather, cold or drafty environments, hormonal fluctuations (premenstrual and menopausal states), stress, depression, anxiety and over-exertion can all contribute to symptom flare-ups.

I hate being high maintenence. Or feeling that way. When I go to bed, I wear earplugs because I feel like every noise is right next to my head. I never used to be that way.

This has done a number on my self esteem. I feel independent sometimes and dependent others. I feel lazy, but I know I'm not lazy.

And I hate feeling scared. Spousal works so much more now and I'm just scared. Sometimes I feel like I have to go into the ER and get pumped up full of drugs to feel better and I know I can't call him every fucking second because he has to work.

I used to want people to understand, but I don't want that. I just want them to know I'm not making this up. I know the look when I tell people I'm having problems (people who know me) and they think I'm being a hypochondriac. I'm just not. I have never been sick like this in my life. I got the occasional flu, just like everyone else. I was not high maintenance. I didn't have sleeping requirements. I didn't have sensitivity to noise. To light. To smells. God. Someone bought green apple scented soap for the place I clean once a week and every time I smell it, I want to vomit.

When I feel good, I do things. I've learned to listen to my body. I know when I can't run certain days. I know when I am just a little too tired and my body needs to run to feel better. Exercise helps. To an extent. The doctor I have now isn't that hip on pain meds. Bully for her. There are times I don't need them. This summer has been one of those times. But now I can tell I'm going to need them a little more often. And now that she's cut me back, I know it'll be an act of god to get her to give them to me again.

It's time to switch to a different doctor.

Ah well. That's life huh?

last - next

35 comments so far
Tanya McBee Gunby | Create Your Badge