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Friday Five

July 31, 2003, 9:39 PM

Friday Five (at the bottom)

The off limits subject. Money. Sure, i can talk about sex and how many positions I can get myself into and blow jobs and stuff, but ask me about money.

Ohhh no. We can't talk about that. Sex, sure. Money.

Nuh uh. Totally taboo.

How many nights have I gone worrying about it? Many.

How many times have I woken up at 2 am worrying about it? Too many.

Am I worried about it at all times? Yes. It's always in the back of my mind.

And I seem to be friends with people that don't get it. They've never had money issues.

It's like we're all alone in the world.

And when you don't have the money other people have, you're looked down on. You just are. Not by everyone. But it's like people are worried that it's catchy. How many times have I cancelled on someone because I didn't have the money to go? Lots. My neighbor wants for us to go swimming all the time. At the pool they joined. Guess what, that takes money! We don't have it.

So then I try to be really good about not wanting things. It is hard. I think the only thing I really want in life is to have decent living room furniture. And I'm trying to be ok without decent living room furniture. It's not a need. It's a want. There's so much we don't need in life and we just keep wanting more.

The indians had it down. The attitude was take only what you needed. Use the land, don't abuse it. And we continually abuse and take. Why do we continue down that path until we don't have it anymore.

Ok what spurred this on? A friend told me about a letter he wrote that was in the paper. To the editor. I said I don't have the paper but would stop by the store and get it. He was joking around and made a smart ass comment about how I could find it online because he knew I was always worried about money, etc. etc. He wasn't being an asshole, but it did hurt my feelings and told him. I'm sure he thinks I'm a psycho female, but I could give a shit less. I'm doing that tell-people-when-I'm-hurt-at-the-moment so I don't let it eat at me.

People that have never had money issues just don't get it. And they don't have to. They don't have to give it a second thought and I'm trying to be in a spot where we don't have to give it a second thought. I wish we were there already.

If you run into money trouble, people start to treat you like shit. Bills late? Suddenly you're worse than shit. And then you feel bad about yourself and you start to feel like another person just sucking air on the planet.

It's just a taboo subject. I didn't make much money when I was single but refused to go on welfare. No food stamps. Nothing. I'm just funny about cash.

And yeah, Mel, I remember you offering to send me $100 a couple of times when I was single. I refused, but you were cool to offer.

*************************

1. What time do you wake up on weekday mornings?

If spousal is home, 10 or 11

2. Do you sleep in on the weekends? How late?

I can sleep until noon any time.

3. Aside from waking up, what is the first thing you do in the morning?

Go upstairs and start the water in the teapot for the coffee press.

4. How long does it take to get ready for your day?

1/2 hour.

5. When possible, what is your favorite place to go for breakfast?

Starbucks. I'm a coffee-whore.


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