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Late

May 27, 2003, 9:54 AM

I set my cell phone alarm clock to wake up me.

It woke me up. I hit snooze. I hit snooze again. This was like at 7:10.

***********************************

8:40. Betty's eyes pop open.

OH NO! Cathywathydoodlealltheday! Gotta............................get...................her........................................up........

Betty rolls out of bed and hits the floor with little or no grace. She stumbles around and finally makes it to her feet. What's tha - underwear stuck to her foot. Betty is shaking her foot, trying to dislodge the underwear. It's really bright underwear, why did she buy such bright underwear?

Cathywathydoodlealltheday! Must hurry. Betty stumbles up the stairs. Can hear BooBoolulutouponunukalukalu bouncing in her crib. Run to Cathywathydoodlealltheday's room.

"Cathywathydoodlealltheday! Get up! It's 8:40!"

Cathywathydoodlealltheday sits up and Betty thinks her eyes are closed but can't tell because Cathywathydoodlealltheday is growing her bangs out and they're covering her eyes. Cathywathydoodlealltheday is looking more and more like Cousin It every day.

Cathywathydoodlealltheday starts to whine. Betty has already had it with the whining in the morning and cheerfully tells Cathywathydoodlealltheday to get out of bed and quit whining.

Betty runs into Booboolulutouponunu's room (what's her real name again?) and plops her little self out on the floor all while running out of the room and down the stairs to throw some clothes on.

Clothes? What are clothes? Betty should probably wear pants because it's the law. Betty throws on a shirt. Her favorite button down shirt. Easy to button down. And up. Wait wait. Bra. Bra's are good. She just needs one. It's not the law, but after nursing three kids. Well, you know. It should be the law after nursing 3 kids.

Betty runs up the stairs to hear Cathywathydoodlealltheday whine about not having any clothes. Betty cheerfully points out that Cathywathydoodlealltheday has a whole drawer full of clothes and reminds Cathywathydoodlealltheday she should stop whining. Betty breaks out the pop tarts at this point. This seems to win Cathywathydoodlealltheday over. Booboolulutouponunu see's the pop tarts and says "COOKIE!!!!" Booboolulutouponunu gets a pop tart too.

Betty throws clothes on Booboolulutouponunu.

Cathywathydoodlealltheday brushes her hair while eating her pop tarts. What in the hell would America do without Pop Tarts?

AND LUNCHABLES! Who feeds their kids that crap in a box?

Betty ALREADY!

We all run out to the car, one big happy family and Betty drives within the limits of the speed. Because she's all about preserving the safety of the neighborhood. Ok, Betty didn't stop at the stop signs, but no one was watching.

Cathywathydoodlealltheday gets off to school on time.

Booboolulu "What's Her Real Name Again?" Touponunu and Betty go to pay the water bill. Betty can see from the directions that her devoted spousal has gotten the wrong ass directions yet again from Map Point. Luckily there's an address. And Betty is getting better at finding addresses these days and not totally having to go by landmarks.

Betty and Booboolulu "What's Her Real Name Again?" Touponunu find the Alderwood Water District place and pay the bill. Betty and the Boo drive to try and find Arnolds feed store. On the way, Betty was amused, then a little alarmed, to see a man sitting out in his yard with his daughter on a porch swing, with a rifle complete with scope.

That's Lynnwood for ya.


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