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Extreme Painting, By Boo the Lu

September 17, 2003, 9:12 PM

I ran to Costco to get a birthday cake. Because my mom asked me. And because they do a lot for me and even though I didn't feel like it, I did it anyway.

Because I'm a Lutheran and that's just a step down from Catholics, guilt-wise.

Or raised Lutheran. I don't know what to do with myself now.

Anyway.

I ran to Costco and got the birthday cake. Ok ok, I got spousal a pair of jeans too. Ok ok ok, I got Boo a bear.

I got to my mom's house and she asked me if I could vacuum. I didn't really want to because that means that Boo would be on the loose and told her that. I decided I would. I started to vacuum and then mom left Boo the Extreme Lu in the living room.

Boo the Extreme Lu was by herself.

I was vacuuming away. Vacuum. Vacuum. Vacuum vacuum. Vacuum vacuum vacuum.

Hm. The closer I get to the living room, the more it smells like...finger nail polish. Hm, I wonder why?

S H I T

I seemed to be moving in slow motion

N o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

Yeah. Fingernail polish on the carpet.

I said "goddamnit" a lot and mom didn't even tell me not to use the Lord's name in vain.

me: "...and Dad's gonna blame me for this! I'm 32 years old and very busted and dad is gonna kill me. He's got that look. You know that look. "

Mom: "He doesn't have to know. We'll move the furniture and cover the area up. Why don't you open the front door and air it out in here."

me: "Boo the Extreme Lu, You do not do this! You know she did this because you called her a brat right?" (I'm running to open the front door and position the fans just right, one blowing out the door and one oscillating to get that ACETONE smell out of there.)

mom: "I was just joking!!!! She didn't even hear me!"

me: "Yes she did. She was singing a happy little song while she was "painting" and I think it was the "Fuck You Grandma Song."

*****

It's pretty much out of the carpet. The brand new carpet. My parental units didn't have new carpet for a very very very long time. My dad is particularly anal about the whole thing.

Oh yeah, I have 6 kittens that need bottle feeding and I have to make them pee.

That's about all.

*****

It's time for...

Betty's Diary of Pain

My back hurts. I want to cry.

The end.


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Tanya McBee Gunby | Create Your Badge