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Mistakes. A way of life.

October 31, 2004, 4:09 AM

This is proving to be one of the longest nights in my life. At 2am the clocks went back to 1am. No wonder I was chosen to work tonight. Why do we still do daylight savings time? It throws off our biorythyms and stuff. Why can't we just do this naturally?

You know, acorn squash sounds good right now.

And I hate my hair. I want it short and back to my dyke spike. I tried to go for the long thing and it's just not me. It's just a pain in the ass. Probably after the baby is born and I lose some weight, I'll go back to La Dyko Spiko.

So I read a book tonight. Iris Joh@nsen's The Ugly Duckling. It was good. I started it around midnight and I'm done. I should have taken it slowly but oh no no. It's usually the same kind of plot. She has the same general formula. Strong woman in distress reluctantly letting a strong man help her. She says "damn you" a lot. There's much sexual tension until finally he admits he wants to do her and she gives in. The woman then finds out he lied to her about something terribly important and she gets pissed off, swearing off doing him anymore.

Then they kill people and she ends up finding herself and doing him again.

She's a good writer and they're good reads. I like the formula which is why I keep buying her stuff.

It's been pretty out. Raining and dark clouds with sun breaks and the colors of the sky being golden, red and orange, same as the autumn leaves. Last night it was hailing. Lee had just gone out back to make sure the neighbors had a tiki torch going and weren't on fire when I heard all this cracking and breaking. I thought he was falling down the steps and it was just the hail falling in the trees.

In other news, my pelvic bones are shifting, making it very painful to walk. When I sit for long periods of time and try to get up and move, it hurts like a mother and I have to stop and hunch over. I'm pretty glad I'm working nights and there's no one to witness the preggo puff keeling over.

I have no idea why I'm writing so much lately. Something to do I suppose. Keeps my mind somewhat active when I feel like a complete idiot most of the time. I'm actually better than I have been in a while. As far as self esteem bullshit issues. I just know my mind isn't what it used to be, as much as that says.

I don't know where I fit in the workplace either. I feel not very well. I seem to have this attitude that a mistake is no big deal where others view it as a sin of all sins. I'm not talking anything specific, like being a cop and having your sargeant tell you not to do things and then decide to do them anyway, but just transposing phone numbers and shit like that.


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