It's still 77 degree's out there and feels moderately humid. It's 9:30pm. I'm sure the people out there in hotter places are wondering what in the hell we're complaining about in Seattle, but it's just not something we're used to. You have to build up a tolerance wherever you live.

So speaking of heat, I was sweating buckets today. BUCKETS. I was sitting here in my ducky boxers and my TWONKY shirt with holes everywhere and no bra. Just letting everything air out. I hear a knock at the door. Let me tell you, I was caught totally off guard by a sales person. Totally off guard. We NEVER get those people down here. We live on a dead end and then down a really long long driveway. Most people don't venture down this way.

Most people.

And then comes this chick. Selling educational books. She's from Paris. And I found myself sitting on the porch with her. For a while. She left.

My sister in law called later on and I told her some chick came selling stuff. She was from France. I think she was a student.

"Yeah," sister in law said "she was a foreign student."

"What?"

"She was selling educational books, right?"

"Yeah!"

"I bought some. Two years ago. Only these people were from Scotland."

*************

So Paris chick is pretty and wearing a sun visor and I'm in my chickie boxers and holey shirt with no bra on and NudistBoo is naked as a jaybird.

I'm sweating like a pig with sweat glands.

NudistBoo, can we say "whitetrash"?

"TRAFFFFF"

That works.

Spousal is outside and I have the mini torches going with citronella oil. I hope the scent kills the little fuckers dead. Little shits. Spreading the west nile virus and incephalitis and all that disease shit. Did god(ess) put them on the earth just for the purpose of population control?

I mean, c' mon, that's what SUV's are for. When an SUV hits you, you're dead and don't have much time to think about it. When a mosquito bites you, you have to itch and itch and then get sick in a few days and then your brain swells and then you feel like shit and then you die.

What would happen if all the mosquito bastards in the world just up and died? Well. I guess a lot of bats would up and die too. But that wouldn't get rid of ALL the bats right? Plus, also, they have rabies. So what would happen? Nothing.

I think the sun is great and all so I'm not going to complain.

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Tanya McBee Gunby | Create Your Badge