Ok, everyone head over to Whatawoman's place and read her current entry. I'm extra sensitive to the issue of being the one that is the default parent right now. Yes, we all signed up to have kids, but ya know what? Things just need to even out here.

So go read her entry and leave nice comments for her and helpful hints. Be nice and stuff.

I'll wait here until you get back.

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Ok so here's my deal. When I stopped working, my biggest fear would be losing myself and not being able to do anything. Stuck at home. I feel like crap all the time and started volunteering at PAWS to stop the self-focus on pain and also to get me out and around big happy dogs and cats. I love doing it. Spousal was all for it, saying "Yes, we'll make this happen for you!" Well, I suppose it doesn't seem to be working out. I've missed three times dog walking because of his work and had to get either my parents or Auntie A to watch the kids about 5 times because of his work. I missed Tuesday Cat room cleaning time because he was out of town. I can't trade places with anyone for a different day because...well, he's out of town so much or he's working and I have no idea when. I know he has to work, but there comes a point in time when you have to say you're taking the day off or slow it down a little bit. He works constantly. He's gone in the mornings, comes home for a bit and then runs off for an evening meeting or event or whatever. Running events usually happens on the weekends. If an event is on a Saturday, I have to rush home after dog walking.

He just got back last night from being gone and today he's making a day trip out to Sequim which is way the heck out there and he'll be home around dinner.

He works and I'm sure he feels pressure to do a good job. I just wonder when it's going to stop. I have this feeling that it won't. The frustrating part is telling him all of this and have him say that he hears what I am saying, but nothing changes.

Anyway, I don't know what to do about it right now. I'm way too depressed and way to overwhelmed to the point where I'm getting nothing done. No sleeping can't be helping either, but I can't tell.

I guess he doesn't realize how important this is. Or he's too caught up in what he's doing to really pay attention. The other night at 3am I was really trying to tell him I was having a hard time and really needed help and he didn't get it. I felt bad for trying to wake him up because I knew he had to work the next day, but man. I just don't know what to do these days.

Plus, also, I'm babysitting for Auntie A and she made cookies with chocolate and raisins. Party foul. Raisins do not belong in cookies.

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Tanya McBee Gunby | Create Your Badge