The cat is pissed at me. I brought home a puppy. It doesn't matter if it's just temporary, it's the mere fact I dared to bring it home in the first place. Lana the kitty gets into the kennel carrier and watches the puppy walk back and forth. I can see the thought bubble over her tiny head: You stupid dog. You are such a dumb shit. Everyone knows people like cats more than dogs.

Puppy: (no thought process at all)

Spousal came home and she licked his face a lot. A tongue bath that could have lasted for hours had he not pushed her off the bed. That was just too much kitty love. Her little tiny thought bubble appeared at that time: You did not bring home that stupid dog. I love you.

Spousal: (no thought process at all)

I walked by spousal today and whacked him on the head. I rounded the corner and heard this huge thud. It was pretty alarming. I thought the baby had fallen. Spousal had a great plan of attack to come get me when I was unsuspecting. He slipped on my windbreaker lying on the floor (because I'm a slob ok? I don't hang anything up and sometimes it serves me well) and he was all sprawled out on the floor. Cathy, my poor neurotic child, ran out of the bathroom saying "WHAT HAPPENED?" I'm sure she thought what I had.

Cindy Lou Boo Who is quite a little girl these days. She's gotten a lot more hair. People keep telling us she looks like Cindy-Lou-Who. Today we walked into Payless shoes, because either we're broke or white trash, and the woman who was ringing us up said the same thing. The kid not only has a huge head, she has pretty big eyes to go with that head. I sure hope she grows into that head of hers. When she's running around, being a Nudie Boo, it's pretty alarming since she's so skinny. And she still has that ethiopian tummy. I really do feed her and she'll eat anything.

The house is a mess and to top it off, the diarrhea-brown carpet is looking dirty. I'm going to have to rent a carpet cleaner again. I wish the landlord would put in new carpet. That carpet is so depressing. I shouldn't want that kind of stuff, but I do. Give me new carpet and matching furniture and I'd be happy. Shallow, but happy.

And I can't make banners because my photoshop won't let me save for web. What the hell has this world come to?

I was just looking at website that has "manbeaters", and one picture made me think of this gal that works at the pottery place on Monday nights. She wears too-short shirts and hip huggers. She is not the type of person to be wearing that combo and I can't believe she thinks that she can get away with that. It's irritating because she doesn't even try to suck in her stomach. It just all kind of hangs out. When she laughs, I see 20 years from now. A barfly.

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Tanya McBee Gunby | Create Your Badge